This is a list of things "About Me" that I started compiling in 2008.
It was posted on a previous blog of mine... and I thought "What better way to let you get to know me?"
So here you are!
It was posted on a previous blog of mine... and I thought "What better way to let you get to know me?"
So here you are!
!00+ Things about Me.
1. I wet the bed until I was in 6th grade. And was punished for it using drastic measures.
2. Sometimes I am afraid I still have that awful habit and wake up to check.
3. I love cold pillows.
4. I can laugh without smiling: —it’s a talent.
5. Chicken Parmesan is by far the most delicious thing I have put in my mouth.
6. I am naturally a dirty blonde.
7. I had a pet bird who froze to death in a windowsill overnight, and another that my brother sat on.
8. I am a sexual being. I believe everyone is.
9. I am more apt to get along with people who have a sense for music and even better if they can play an instrument.
10. The above discounts people in Orchestra. We can still be friends though.
11. I didn't drink alcohol until my 22nd birthday.
12. Favorite Candy Bar: Cadbury Chocolate with Hazelnuts.
13. I had a fantasy that I could raise a nest on my own just like in “Fly Away Home”—I attempted this with eggs from the grocery store.
14. My toes look like sausage links.
15. I am ‘pansexual’. I stopped calling myself this because people would say things like, “Do you love trees too?” Ugh.
16. But every time I envision my future life, I am married to a man, even though I know I can lead the same life with a woman.
17. I wear a 42DD.
18. I named my dog after a song that reminds me of the few days when my mother wasn’t a bitch: “Maggie Mae” By Rod Stewart.
19. When I am thinner I am compared to Farrah Fawcett on a daily basis. I think these people are crazy.
20. I hate wearing underwear.
21. My favorite poet is Sharon Olds.
22. Despite my choices in home furnishing, I still hate Martha Stuart.
23. Out of all the animals, I would like to come back as an Owl.
24. I took a puff of my uncle’s cigar when I was 9. I liked it. A lot. And that is why I don’t smoke.
25. I love Geometry.
26. I want to be a professor of any kind, but bigger things call my name.
27. My nemesis from all-girls camp punched me in the jaw when I was 14. That was the closest I have been to socking a woman in the eye.
28. There is only one person who is capable of making me blush so far in this life.
29. I lost my virginity when I was 15. I don’t regret it, but I do wish there were some sexual equivalent I could call upon to give to my future husband.
30. I have never cheated on anything, but people have cheated off of me. I still feel guilty for this.
31. I love card games and could piss the day away playing them.
32. Jade is my chosen pseudo-name.
33. I love hip-hop and rap because of the raunchy beats. I want to give lap dances to them.
34. I can tie cherry stems into knots with my tongue – It is not realistically useful anywhere else in life, so I don’t understand why men are fascinated with it.
35. I have tweezed women’s armpits because I have been asked to, but I detest the idea of permanent laser hair removal.
36. I was raised Jewish, read out of the Torah at my Bat Mitzvah and am still not convinced.
37. Swallowing is for people I am in a serious relationship with.
38. I like to use double negatives to confuse people.
39. I like my dipping sauces cold.
40. I fell in love with someone that I randomly met online. It happens more often than people want to admit.
41. When I get hot, my hair gets curly and wild.
42. I am okay with the thought of the destruction of the entirety of mankind.
43. I call people whatever comes to mind at the moment.
44. I make horrific racist jokes—but they are simply jokes.
45. The idea of getting my clit and/or nipples pierced makes me squeal and grab said areas in a panic. Ow.
46. I am crafty.
47. I enjoy getting lost with other people in the car, but only when I am driving. It is extra talking time and nurtures exploration.
48. I have a brother who I didn’t get along with until 2008.
49. I don’t like seafood of any kind expect for lobster. And I have to crack the shell myself or I can’t bring myself to eat it.
50. I love Karaoke.
51. With the people I care for, I sometimes feel the need to preface things with “Don’t mistake this as ______”. Not because I want to be manipulative, rude, or patronizing, but because I want them to know where it is heading right off the bat.
52. I have never been to the West Coast, but I want to road trip there.
53. I dream on a nightly basis.
54. I love getting lots of earwax on a Q-tip.
55. I am an exceptional cook when given time to be.
56. I wanted to be a chef but was scared away from the idea because my ‘potential would be wasted’.
57. I like water sports of any kind.
58. I spend hours in the bookstore reading. At first because I got caught up in a book I was looking to buy, and now I use it as my library. I am there when I am not at work and have been going there for years.
59. Cannolis are my favorite dessert following Cheesecake.
60. I have a different laugh for everything, and it changes all the time.
61. Volleyball and Ultimate Frisbee are my favorite sports.
62. I get bored watching professional sports on TV, but I go to local games to trash talk.
63. I think trash talking is a legitimate motivator. Even if it hurts, it’s still motivating. And it’s a fun part of the game. Get over it.
64. I have slowly removed every bad seed from my life to make room for more amazing people.
65. I think everyone should own a pair of dress socks.
66. I know people like to be comfortable wherever they go, but it is disrespectful in certain cases to wear Converse high tops to dressy occasions. You are not setting a trend. Trend setting happens in the streets, not at weddings.
67. I like chick flicks for the most part. Foreign films and horrors are my preference.
68. I like camping.
69. I like sex outdoors.
70. In fact, most public places don’t bother me.
71. I have small jars filled with dried petals from bouquets I have received throughout my lifetime: weddings, award ceremonies, birthdays, romantic gestures etc.
72. I love interior decorating. I love areas that reflect personality in a reasonable, subtle and clean way. I could do it for the rest of my life.
73. Over extravagance bothers me.
74. Especially concerning patriotism.
75. I think finding the balance between two givers is hard, but is the most rewarding relationship.
76. I love 90’s music.
77. I went to 3 different High Schools.
78. I have kept a few dire secrets from my family.
79. I wish I knew how to play Chess.
80. I miss horseback riding. Not because it is my favorite thing to do, but because I wish I had stuck with something for long enough to make it my ‘thing’.
81. I think the line between love and obsession is a thin one, but everyone teeters on it in his or her daily lives and it’s something we shouldn’t think too much about unless it is negatively impacting you.
82. I don’t like when people end letters with Peace, Blessed Be, or Later.
83. I love warm, naked embraces, tucked under heavy sheets, from a man. The smell of sweat and their distinct cologne only enhances it.
84. That same girl from all-girls camp also peed on my toothbrush at summer camp in 2001. No one told me until I was already brushing my teeth. I continued to brush my teeth because it was bothering them more than it was I.
85. Then my resolve fell apart and I ran in to the woods and made my own fishing line out of a stick and pocket string; a button for a hook. I caught three fish with no bait or real hook. This is the closest I have been to questioning whether there is a god.
86. I want to write a memoir on my life, but I am afraid to not because of my own pain, but because it will dis-hona my fama-ree.
87. I love to drive and when given the opportunity to do so, I always accept.
88. My favorite ice cream is Chocolate-Vanilla swirl soft serve with rainbow sprinkles on a waffle cone.
89. I love embracing other people’s cultures. I eat Indian food with the tips of my fingers, Chinese with chopsticks etc.
90. I do this because I don’t like the idea of westernizing cultures that are attempting to hold their place. To show my respect for this, I put aside my own Western ideals and try someone else’s on for a bit.
91. I don’t sweat easily.
92. When I mention the loss of my virginity, it’s not actually true that I lost it when I was 15. I choose to ignore the times beforehand; when I had no choice.
93. I like to perform spoken word poetry.
94. I have too many freckles to play connect the dots with, though I think it’s a cute idea.
95. I could live in a tent the rest of my life if it came down to it.
96. The smell of fresh baking cookies is something I want my grandchildren to associate with me when they visit me on lazy weekends.
97. “If I weren’t married to the streets, it’d be you.” is the one line in any rap song playing in the Top 40 right now (2008) that made me think twice. Or think at all, for that matter.
98. I want children more than I can express, but I have a deep-rooted fear that my baby-maker won’t work properly.
99. I would rather burn alive in a freak accident than cheat on anyone.
100. Intelligence and Wit are sexy.
101. I want to travel to every state.
102. Thunderstorms are a turn on.
103. I try my hardest not to eat something in someone’s face, that they themselves cannot eat or drink. Unless it is their choice, i.e. vegetarians.
104. I give damn good hugs when I am not nervous that I will break you. I am proud to say people request them all the time.
105. I am a strong believer that things will fall in to place the way we want them to, if we would only let them.
106. Music is what I imagine to be equivalent to a religious experience.
107. I wasn't popular in school until 9th grade.
108. I love to volunteer and have been doing so consistently since I was 11, because it affords me the chance to meet amazing people I wouldn’t have met otherwise.
109. When I have children I will hand-draw their coloring book pages so that they will always pertain to their lives and their own learning experiences.
110. Some times I don’t eat for days because I am simply not hungry. It happens randomly.
111. I know that I know nothing.
112. I have stayed up 72 hours straight going to work and coming home to play board games with my closest friends, then returning to work only to come home and continue our games. It has happened more than a handful of times.
113. I enjoy having stacks of books in my personal living space so I can always have inspiration, knowledge, different points of views and scandal at my fingertips.
114. I love random trivia and hope to never stop learning.
115. I enjoy entertaining people.
116. I also enjoy the idea of entertaining in my home: throwing themed parties, birthdays, and random Mexican fiestas, cooking extraordinary meals for friends and family on holidays.
117. I want to be a wife to a man who wants me to be his wife.
118. I want to go above and beyond any expectations people have for me to prove not for myself, but others, that they should never lose faith in the people they surround themselves with.
119. I want sex in the morning, when I am half asleep. Teeth brushed or not.
120. S’Mores are a great reason to get people together around a fire. There doesn’t need to be anything else.
121. I like to play with hair and rub scalps of the people I care about.
122. I use the word cunt in my vocabulary and I will laugh at you if you are offended by it. You have one, you might be one, or smell like one. Get over it.
123. My vows are going to be impromptu.
124. Even with all this talk of children and marriage, I think it is completely plausible that I will be a single mother working 2 low paying jobs when I am 34. Just like my mother. It seems completely normal for me.
125. Welfare abusers make me itchy and tight-lipped.
126. I will wink at you if I think you’re cute.
127. I have an awesome poker face. I lead people to believe I don't.
128. I wish people would announce their true intentions at the beginning of every conversation just so I wouldn’t have to unravel them and make people feel like assholes by the end of it. Though sometimes it’s enjoyable if they think they’re being coy.
129. I like to fuck with telemarketers.
130. And make pedophilia jokes.
131. I don’t take praise well, and tend to turn the compliment in the other direction using something to the affect of “Well it takes a good person to try and spot good traits in others. So really, you’re the one who should be complimented.”
132. I don’t like the recognition because it makes me remember that people think I, who am nothing fantastic, am something above the general population. Which makes me realize how sucky human beings are in general; I suck, and someone thinks everyone else out their sucks worse than me? WOW, everyone must suck horribly then.
133. I just said ‘suck’ a lot. I know.
134. I feed the ducks only so they can shit on the obnoxious tourists. :]
135. I haven’t lied since I was old enough to recognize that lying hurts people, and I have made a conscious effort not to.
136. I despise when people constantly play with their tongue piercing and when toothless individuals are constantly ‘gumming’ their gums.
137. I have never slept with two different people in one week.
138. I want to.
139. I like the smell of gasoline, manure, and a handful of pennies.
140. I am very patient and don’t mind waiting in line for hours if I don’t have other obligations.
141. People who can’t relax when we are lost drive me loopy. Refer to 47.
142. On a stormy night when I was 8 years old, I sat at a wide-open window in my room nestled in a huge armchair, while the tree outside came inches from whipping me in the face and the sky was so dark it was nearly pitch black. I envisioned myself being swept away like Dorothy. I remember it being a very mysterious yet peaceful thought.
143. I was rewarded with corn muffins for demonstrating ‘good behavior’ in school. I can’t eat corn muffins on a regular basis because I feel guilty beforehand.
144. I have won several athletic awards for bowling, basketball, volleyball, general “athlete of the week” and Ultimate Frisbee... no clue where I put any of them.
145. I have 6 clocks in my house and none of them are even remotely the correct time. Only the watch on my wrist is.
146. I don’t agree with the stigma and fear around going to the Gynecologist, but I understand it.
147. I understand people’s reasons for nearly everything that they do, but I let what they do slip by when it affects me. If they are hurting themselves or others, I am sure to let them know.
148. I write poetry as a release, and sometimes to let others know how I am feeling.
149. I like to speak against atrocities more than I like to speak FOR good causes. I like to act for both, better than speak for them.
150. I will take care of you. I don’t care who you are.
151. I think the atmosphere and ambiance of a place speaks a lot about its occupant. And those 2 things never go unnoticed by me.
152. I cried when a random guest from my mother’s wedding took the flower arrangement that was sitting above the arch at the pulpit where they were married. I had planned on retrieving it but had been too small to get there first. I was 12.
153. This list and many others of a different nature will hopefully help me write that dreaded memoir I am looking to put together. I don’t know where to start.
154. I still write letters to people I don’t speak to, and if I don’t have a correct address or the balls to send it, I stock-pile them in my room.
155. I wish I knew the ins and outs of photography.
156. My blood pressure has always been lower than normal no matter my weight or the amount of activity I happen to be doing.
157. I had a fan club at my last volleyball game in High School. It felt amazing.
158. I have “penis fingers” which my college RA kindly told me. Which make me a good dyke?
159. I love to count money.
160. I am a very very patient person.
161. Even though my ex girlfriend traveled 3,000 miles to be at my high school graduation, then moved to my college to live with me, we still didn’t work out.
162. Random children flock to me, all the time, no matter where I am.
163. I want to be a mother. I may have said that already, but I think it deserves a second mentioning.
164. I despise whiney bands.
165. Sometimes I end up in places and completely forget how I arrived there if I was distracted in the process.
166. That only happens if I’m low on energy, which is a result of me not eating for days as I mentioned earlier.
167. I have always wanted a Mohawk. It will happen one day.
168. I get excited for other people easily.
169. When I see someone genuinely smile, my entire body turns warm and I feel an immense sense of joy and happiness for hours. Sometimes I am so happy I squeal.
170. I used to collect rocks and showcase them in a cosmetics box.
171. I stole a classmates Stretch Armstrong back in Kindergarten, as well as someone’s rabbit pelt after show and tell.
172. I wake up seconds before my alarm every time, even when its randomly set for 7:23.
173. Sometimes I think I forgot how to kiss and get nervous just before kissing someone.
174. I call people just to see how they are.
175. I dislike when people blatantly drive through stop signs. But somehow it's ok if I do it?
176. I used to have a library in my closet. It was alphabetized.
177. Getting waxed does not hurt. Quit your bitching.
178. I kissed someone at a party when I was on “a break” from a relationship, and I felt so terrible I holed myself up in the basement and apologized profusely to my ex via phone even though I was single.
179. I was 348 lbs at my heaviest.
180. I consider my step-father to be my father even though he is my mother’s second husband. I have no memory of my biological father.
181. I used to hallucinate a lot when I was younger because of my medications.
182. I don’t like still air, especially in the car and my room.
183. Sabrina Matthews, the comedian, kissed me on the lips and signed my breast upon request. What a sweetie.
184. My mom moved to ND and now I live alone in the same house I grew up in. I am 23 and 'own' a house... wow.
185. I never realized I was in an oppressive relationship until I was out of it.
186. 3 years ago I would never have dreamt of actualizing a lot of my sexual fantasies, out of concern of being considered “a slut”.
187. I now have a list of 69 sexual things I want to accomplish over the summer of 2012!
2. Sometimes I am afraid I still have that awful habit and wake up to check.
3. I love cold pillows.
4. I can laugh without smiling: —it’s a talent.
5. Chicken Parmesan is by far the most delicious thing I have put in my mouth.
6. I am naturally a dirty blonde.
7. I had a pet bird who froze to death in a windowsill overnight, and another that my brother sat on.
8. I am a sexual being. I believe everyone is.
9. I am more apt to get along with people who have a sense for music and even better if they can play an instrument.
10. The above discounts people in Orchestra. We can still be friends though.
11. I didn't drink alcohol until my 22nd birthday.
12. Favorite Candy Bar: Cadbury Chocolate with Hazelnuts.
13. I had a fantasy that I could raise a nest on my own just like in “Fly Away Home”—I attempted this with eggs from the grocery store.
14. My toes look like sausage links.
15. I am ‘pansexual’. I stopped calling myself this because people would say things like, “Do you love trees too?” Ugh.
16. But every time I envision my future life, I am married to a man, even though I know I can lead the same life with a woman.
17. I wear a 42DD.
18. I named my dog after a song that reminds me of the few days when my mother wasn’t a bitch: “Maggie Mae” By Rod Stewart.
19. When I am thinner I am compared to Farrah Fawcett on a daily basis. I think these people are crazy.
20. I hate wearing underwear.
21. My favorite poet is Sharon Olds.
22. Despite my choices in home furnishing, I still hate Martha Stuart.
23. Out of all the animals, I would like to come back as an Owl.
24. I took a puff of my uncle’s cigar when I was 9. I liked it. A lot. And that is why I don’t smoke.
25. I love Geometry.
26. I want to be a professor of any kind, but bigger things call my name.
27. My nemesis from all-girls camp punched me in the jaw when I was 14. That was the closest I have been to socking a woman in the eye.
28. There is only one person who is capable of making me blush so far in this life.
29. I lost my virginity when I was 15. I don’t regret it, but I do wish there were some sexual equivalent I could call upon to give to my future husband.
30. I have never cheated on anything, but people have cheated off of me. I still feel guilty for this.
31. I love card games and could piss the day away playing them.
32. Jade is my chosen pseudo-name.
33. I love hip-hop and rap because of the raunchy beats. I want to give lap dances to them.
34. I can tie cherry stems into knots with my tongue – It is not realistically useful anywhere else in life, so I don’t understand why men are fascinated with it.
35. I have tweezed women’s armpits because I have been asked to, but I detest the idea of permanent laser hair removal.
36. I was raised Jewish, read out of the Torah at my Bat Mitzvah and am still not convinced.
37. Swallowing is for people I am in a serious relationship with.
38. I like to use double negatives to confuse people.
39. I like my dipping sauces cold.
40. I fell in love with someone that I randomly met online. It happens more often than people want to admit.
41. When I get hot, my hair gets curly and wild.
42. I am okay with the thought of the destruction of the entirety of mankind.
43. I call people whatever comes to mind at the moment.
44. I make horrific racist jokes—but they are simply jokes.
45. The idea of getting my clit and/or nipples pierced makes me squeal and grab said areas in a panic. Ow.
46. I am crafty.
47. I enjoy getting lost with other people in the car, but only when I am driving. It is extra talking time and nurtures exploration.
48. I have a brother who I didn’t get along with until 2008.
49. I don’t like seafood of any kind expect for lobster. And I have to crack the shell myself or I can’t bring myself to eat it.
50. I love Karaoke.
51. With the people I care for, I sometimes feel the need to preface things with “Don’t mistake this as ______”. Not because I want to be manipulative, rude, or patronizing, but because I want them to know where it is heading right off the bat.
52. I have never been to the West Coast, but I want to road trip there.
53. I dream on a nightly basis.
54. I love getting lots of earwax on a Q-tip.
55. I am an exceptional cook when given time to be.
56. I wanted to be a chef but was scared away from the idea because my ‘potential would be wasted’.
57. I like water sports of any kind.
58. I spend hours in the bookstore reading. At first because I got caught up in a book I was looking to buy, and now I use it as my library. I am there when I am not at work and have been going there for years.
59. Cannolis are my favorite dessert following Cheesecake.
60. I have a different laugh for everything, and it changes all the time.
61. Volleyball and Ultimate Frisbee are my favorite sports.
62. I get bored watching professional sports on TV, but I go to local games to trash talk.
63. I think trash talking is a legitimate motivator. Even if it hurts, it’s still motivating. And it’s a fun part of the game. Get over it.
64. I have slowly removed every bad seed from my life to make room for more amazing people.
65. I think everyone should own a pair of dress socks.
66. I know people like to be comfortable wherever they go, but it is disrespectful in certain cases to wear Converse high tops to dressy occasions. You are not setting a trend. Trend setting happens in the streets, not at weddings.
67. I like chick flicks for the most part. Foreign films and horrors are my preference.
68. I like camping.
69. I like sex outdoors.
70. In fact, most public places don’t bother me.
71. I have small jars filled with dried petals from bouquets I have received throughout my lifetime: weddings, award ceremonies, birthdays, romantic gestures etc.
72. I love interior decorating. I love areas that reflect personality in a reasonable, subtle and clean way. I could do it for the rest of my life.
73. Over extravagance bothers me.
74. Especially concerning patriotism.
75. I think finding the balance between two givers is hard, but is the most rewarding relationship.
76. I love 90’s music.
77. I went to 3 different High Schools.
78. I have kept a few dire secrets from my family.
79. I wish I knew how to play Chess.
80. I miss horseback riding. Not because it is my favorite thing to do, but because I wish I had stuck with something for long enough to make it my ‘thing’.
81. I think the line between love and obsession is a thin one, but everyone teeters on it in his or her daily lives and it’s something we shouldn’t think too much about unless it is negatively impacting you.
82. I don’t like when people end letters with Peace, Blessed Be, or Later.
83. I love warm, naked embraces, tucked under heavy sheets, from a man. The smell of sweat and their distinct cologne only enhances it.
84. That same girl from all-girls camp also peed on my toothbrush at summer camp in 2001. No one told me until I was already brushing my teeth. I continued to brush my teeth because it was bothering them more than it was I.
85. Then my resolve fell apart and I ran in to the woods and made my own fishing line out of a stick and pocket string; a button for a hook. I caught three fish with no bait or real hook. This is the closest I have been to questioning whether there is a god.
86. I want to write a memoir on my life, but I am afraid to not because of my own pain, but because it will dis-hona my fama-ree.
87. I love to drive and when given the opportunity to do so, I always accept.
88. My favorite ice cream is Chocolate-Vanilla swirl soft serve with rainbow sprinkles on a waffle cone.
89. I love embracing other people’s cultures. I eat Indian food with the tips of my fingers, Chinese with chopsticks etc.
90. I do this because I don’t like the idea of westernizing cultures that are attempting to hold their place. To show my respect for this, I put aside my own Western ideals and try someone else’s on for a bit.
91. I don’t sweat easily.
92. When I mention the loss of my virginity, it’s not actually true that I lost it when I was 15. I choose to ignore the times beforehand; when I had no choice.
93. I like to perform spoken word poetry.
94. I have too many freckles to play connect the dots with, though I think it’s a cute idea.
95. I could live in a tent the rest of my life if it came down to it.
96. The smell of fresh baking cookies is something I want my grandchildren to associate with me when they visit me on lazy weekends.
97. “If I weren’t married to the streets, it’d be you.” is the one line in any rap song playing in the Top 40 right now (2008) that made me think twice. Or think at all, for that matter.
98. I want children more than I can express, but I have a deep-rooted fear that my baby-maker won’t work properly.
99. I would rather burn alive in a freak accident than cheat on anyone.
100. Intelligence and Wit are sexy.
101. I want to travel to every state.
102. Thunderstorms are a turn on.
103. I try my hardest not to eat something in someone’s face, that they themselves cannot eat or drink. Unless it is their choice, i.e. vegetarians.
104. I give damn good hugs when I am not nervous that I will break you. I am proud to say people request them all the time.
105. I am a strong believer that things will fall in to place the way we want them to, if we would only let them.
106. Music is what I imagine to be equivalent to a religious experience.
107. I wasn't popular in school until 9th grade.
108. I love to volunteer and have been doing so consistently since I was 11, because it affords me the chance to meet amazing people I wouldn’t have met otherwise.
109. When I have children I will hand-draw their coloring book pages so that they will always pertain to their lives and their own learning experiences.
110. Some times I don’t eat for days because I am simply not hungry. It happens randomly.
111. I know that I know nothing.
112. I have stayed up 72 hours straight going to work and coming home to play board games with my closest friends, then returning to work only to come home and continue our games. It has happened more than a handful of times.
113. I enjoy having stacks of books in my personal living space so I can always have inspiration, knowledge, different points of views and scandal at my fingertips.
114. I love random trivia and hope to never stop learning.
115. I enjoy entertaining people.
116. I also enjoy the idea of entertaining in my home: throwing themed parties, birthdays, and random Mexican fiestas, cooking extraordinary meals for friends and family on holidays.
117. I want to be a wife to a man who wants me to be his wife.
118. I want to go above and beyond any expectations people have for me to prove not for myself, but others, that they should never lose faith in the people they surround themselves with.
119. I want sex in the morning, when I am half asleep. Teeth brushed or not.
120. S’Mores are a great reason to get people together around a fire. There doesn’t need to be anything else.
121. I like to play with hair and rub scalps of the people I care about.
122. I use the word cunt in my vocabulary and I will laugh at you if you are offended by it. You have one, you might be one, or smell like one. Get over it.
123. My vows are going to be impromptu.
124. Even with all this talk of children and marriage, I think it is completely plausible that I will be a single mother working 2 low paying jobs when I am 34. Just like my mother. It seems completely normal for me.
125. Welfare abusers make me itchy and tight-lipped.
126. I will wink at you if I think you’re cute.
127. I have an awesome poker face. I lead people to believe I don't.
128. I wish people would announce their true intentions at the beginning of every conversation just so I wouldn’t have to unravel them and make people feel like assholes by the end of it. Though sometimes it’s enjoyable if they think they’re being coy.
129. I like to fuck with telemarketers.
130. And make pedophilia jokes.
131. I don’t take praise well, and tend to turn the compliment in the other direction using something to the affect of “Well it takes a good person to try and spot good traits in others. So really, you’re the one who should be complimented.”
132. I don’t like the recognition because it makes me remember that people think I, who am nothing fantastic, am something above the general population. Which makes me realize how sucky human beings are in general; I suck, and someone thinks everyone else out their sucks worse than me? WOW, everyone must suck horribly then.
133. I just said ‘suck’ a lot. I know.
134. I feed the ducks only so they can shit on the obnoxious tourists. :]
135. I haven’t lied since I was old enough to recognize that lying hurts people, and I have made a conscious effort not to.
136. I despise when people constantly play with their tongue piercing and when toothless individuals are constantly ‘gumming’ their gums.
137. I have never slept with two different people in one week.
138. I want to.
139. I like the smell of gasoline, manure, and a handful of pennies.
140. I am very patient and don’t mind waiting in line for hours if I don’t have other obligations.
141. People who can’t relax when we are lost drive me loopy. Refer to 47.
142. On a stormy night when I was 8 years old, I sat at a wide-open window in my room nestled in a huge armchair, while the tree outside came inches from whipping me in the face and the sky was so dark it was nearly pitch black. I envisioned myself being swept away like Dorothy. I remember it being a very mysterious yet peaceful thought.
143. I was rewarded with corn muffins for demonstrating ‘good behavior’ in school. I can’t eat corn muffins on a regular basis because I feel guilty beforehand.
144. I have won several athletic awards for bowling, basketball, volleyball, general “athlete of the week” and Ultimate Frisbee... no clue where I put any of them.
145. I have 6 clocks in my house and none of them are even remotely the correct time. Only the watch on my wrist is.
146. I don’t agree with the stigma and fear around going to the Gynecologist, but I understand it.
147. I understand people’s reasons for nearly everything that they do, but I let what they do slip by when it affects me. If they are hurting themselves or others, I am sure to let them know.
148. I write poetry as a release, and sometimes to let others know how I am feeling.
149. I like to speak against atrocities more than I like to speak FOR good causes. I like to act for both, better than speak for them.
150. I will take care of you. I don’t care who you are.
151. I think the atmosphere and ambiance of a place speaks a lot about its occupant. And those 2 things never go unnoticed by me.
152. I cried when a random guest from my mother’s wedding took the flower arrangement that was sitting above the arch at the pulpit where they were married. I had planned on retrieving it but had been too small to get there first. I was 12.
153. This list and many others of a different nature will hopefully help me write that dreaded memoir I am looking to put together. I don’t know where to start.
154. I still write letters to people I don’t speak to, and if I don’t have a correct address or the balls to send it, I stock-pile them in my room.
155. I wish I knew the ins and outs of photography.
156. My blood pressure has always been lower than normal no matter my weight or the amount of activity I happen to be doing.
157. I had a fan club at my last volleyball game in High School. It felt amazing.
158. I have “penis fingers” which my college RA kindly told me. Which make me a good dyke?
159. I love to count money.
160. I am a very very patient person.
161. Even though my ex girlfriend traveled 3,000 miles to be at my high school graduation, then moved to my college to live with me, we still didn’t work out.
162. Random children flock to me, all the time, no matter where I am.
163. I want to be a mother. I may have said that already, but I think it deserves a second mentioning.
164. I despise whiney bands.
165. Sometimes I end up in places and completely forget how I arrived there if I was distracted in the process.
166. That only happens if I’m low on energy, which is a result of me not eating for days as I mentioned earlier.
167. I have always wanted a Mohawk. It will happen one day.
168. I get excited for other people easily.
169. When I see someone genuinely smile, my entire body turns warm and I feel an immense sense of joy and happiness for hours. Sometimes I am so happy I squeal.
170. I used to collect rocks and showcase them in a cosmetics box.
171. I stole a classmates Stretch Armstrong back in Kindergarten, as well as someone’s rabbit pelt after show and tell.
172. I wake up seconds before my alarm every time, even when its randomly set for 7:23.
173. Sometimes I think I forgot how to kiss and get nervous just before kissing someone.
174. I call people just to see how they are.
175. I dislike when people blatantly drive through stop signs. But somehow it's ok if I do it?
176. I used to have a library in my closet. It was alphabetized.
177. Getting waxed does not hurt. Quit your bitching.
178. I kissed someone at a party when I was on “a break” from a relationship, and I felt so terrible I holed myself up in the basement and apologized profusely to my ex via phone even though I was single.
179. I was 348 lbs at my heaviest.
180. I consider my step-father to be my father even though he is my mother’s second husband. I have no memory of my biological father.
181. I used to hallucinate a lot when I was younger because of my medications.
182. I don’t like still air, especially in the car and my room.
183. Sabrina Matthews, the comedian, kissed me on the lips and signed my breast upon request. What a sweetie.
184. My mom moved to ND and now I live alone in the same house I grew up in. I am 23 and 'own' a house... wow.
185. I never realized I was in an oppressive relationship until I was out of it.
186. 3 years ago I would never have dreamt of actualizing a lot of my sexual fantasies, out of concern of being considered “a slut”.
187. I now have a list of 69 sexual things I want to accomplish over the summer of 2012!